Download PDF On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men, by J. L. King
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On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men, by J. L. King
Download PDF On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men, by J. L. King
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Amazon.com Review
The closer a secret is kept, the more powerful the impact once it is finally revealed. Such is the case with author and activist J.L. King's intriguing look at the lives and lifestyles of black men who sleep with other men but do not consider themselves to be gay. These men live "on the down low," the "DL" for short, and their sexual activities have gained significant notice as the rate of HIV/AIDS infection in black women has skyrocketed, with the vast majority of cases coming from heterosexual sex. King is a veteran of the DL himself and his book serves partly as a social and psychological survey of the other men he has surveyed and partly as highly candid memoir. King was well regarded in his community, popular at his church, successful in his career, and married to a woman who had no idea that his secret life existed. But when she caught him in a lie and with another man, the marriage collapsed and King's long and painful path to self-awareness began. King cites the negative image many socially conservative black men have of homosexuality as an obstacle to those men being honest with their partners and themselves about who they are. Among the more intriguing elements of On the Down Low are the peculiar approaches men on the DL have to the sexual act, seeking a strictly physical sexual relationship with their secret male partners while remaining in more traditional arrangements with women. Whether this discrepancy is a product of scrupulously guarded secrecy and shame or the natural preference of an understudied sexual identity is one of the numerous questions raised by this book. Though the infection statistics make the DL a huge public health issue, King is neither a sociologist nor a medical professional. And while a more clinical look at this issue would be welcome, King accomplished what he set out to do: provide light and insight into a world that so many have worked so hard to keep in the shadows. --John Moe
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From Booklist
King is very straightforward about the phenomenon, called the down low, of "straight" men having sex with other men without disclosing it to the women in their lives. Having spent more than 20 years living the dual life of the down low, King is familiar with all the personal, psychological, social, and even religious implications of living on the down low and the risks this lifestyle poses to the spread of HIV and AIDS. He recalls his struggle with self-gratification, the fear of exposure, and the responsibility to his family before coming to the conclusion that he owed his family honesty. King also cites respect for black women as a motive for disclosing his secret, though the reader might question how much respect he had for 20 years. But that's part of King's point in his disclosure, that men on the down low and the black community itself, with little tolerance of homosexuality, need to be more honest and open on issues of sexuality. This is a revealing look at an important social and health issue. Vernon FordCopyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
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Product details
Hardcover: 208 pages
Publisher: Broadway; First Edition edition (April 14, 2004)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780767913980
ISBN-13: 978-0767913980
ASIN: 0767913981
Product Dimensions:
5.7 x 0.9 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.0 out of 5 stars
182 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#1,071,867 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
If you are a black woman who is looking to find out what the signs of down low men are this book is not for you! I feel he knows more than what he is telling and is holding back. Every chapter I read I felt he was holding back on information! It was more about a book of him bragging about his different sexual encounters with men. He is very proud of it.
I thought that this book was going to be a book of sexual escapades had by the writer. It's the reason that I did not read it when it first came out. I decided to read it have reading the reviews for the authors newest book. I felt I should read this one first to ensure I did not miss anything. I must say I was deaf wrong. The book was for women and how to deal with, identify and protect themselves from risk associated with down low men. It was very well written. I read in a day.
I liked the book. I'm a guy and I was interested in knowing more about being on the DL. But I don't know exactly what the message J.L. King was trying to give. He didn't tell men NOT to be on the DL, he did warn females about them. I guess he just was the messenger. I don't think it will change any black male from having sex with another man if he wants to. It's not going to bring honesty. I can't imagine any male confessing prior to or before doing this. All women cannot insist that their men put on a condom before sex. So-things will probably remain the same. Bottom line???.... Know your partner and be prepared to accept the consequence if you come up HIV+. When I was young they called VD "the gift that keeps on giving", but AIDS is not a gift. We need better morals but people don't seem to want that either.
When J.L. King went on the Oprah Winfrey show to talk about the lives of "straight" black men who sleep with men, he opened the eyes of a lot of African-American women who had been living in a utopia. It was difficult for a lot of women to believe that their husbands/boyfriends/lovers could be sleeping with a man one minute and come home and sleep with them the next. Trust Oprah to open the eyes of so many people with this controversial topic, and J.L. King was just the vessel necessary to do so.Unfortunately, while this topic is important, controversial, and in need of recognition, J.L. King's book "On the Down Low" isn't necessarily the best forum for it. First of all, the point he is trying to make is diminished by his own life story. King takes the defensive for most of the story making it clear to his audience that for 25 years he lived the life that he is condemning others for, but for some reason it's different for him since he's now seen the error of his ways. Second of all, he's pious to the point of being preachy. I am all for religion and good for him for letting his faith guide him, but the fact that God will forgive him for his sins is no excuse for living a lie and hurting those around him. Thirdly, the book isn't that well written and as a whole was kind of a bore. I applaud King for being willing to do what others wouldn't have the guts to, but I think perhaps there was too big a rush to get this book out and therefore the writing suffered.As a whole, this book covers an important topic and for that it's worth reading. However, as literature it's not so great.
Unbelievable story! It is scary that this happens in real life. It happens to so many people. Thanks to the author for bringing awareness. Very well written and articulated to real life.
This book is a MUST READ for every woman, regardless of your relationship status. Much respect to J.L. King for his transparency, brutal honesty and willingness to expose what is frequently a well hidden secret. This insight could very well save your life!
This was one of the best books I have read in a while. It was an awesome book because of all the information that was contained in it. It was hard at times to put it down. I kinda new something like this sub-culture existed but I never new it had a name nor did I know how extensive this sub-culture. The book was scary because of all the women that are being subjected to the HIV virus because of men who have no respect, or care for the women they are potenially infecting, or let alone this self. I would recommend this book for all women of color to read.
I'll start by saying that I bought this book to learn...not everything, but to learn something. I believe the author does a good job explaining the DL behavior, so that the reader can get the gist of what it is, and why men choose to live that lifestyle. I am not reviewing (like some people have been), to give my opinion of the DL lifestyle, or give my take on the issue. I do not want to interpret the book for you, but just let you know that the book is an easy read, it seems sincere, and you will definitely learn something from it. I think the author provides some good clues to women, about how you can identify a man on the DL. He does just enough to open up about his personal situation and what he was thinking when he was living a double life. I believe the author is fair to straight men, by letting women know that most men are not engaging in the behavior. I believe a lot of men on the DL have given this book poor reviews because it exposes their actions and gives women the heads-up. A lot of women are giving the book bad reviews because they are angry at the author for being who he is, his past behavior, and the fact that he has been lucrative selling books on the subject of his dirty deeds. In sum, I suggest that you do not listen to the negative reviews, because you will learn something, and you will be entertained. Give this one a read, I recommend it!!
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